I have become an artist of farewells. Of letting go and moving on. I can sense their arrival when they are still far on the horizon. The preparation for separation begins. This is the result of a lifetime of leaving places, people, jobs, virtual communities. Outgrowing toxic mindsets. Shedding the masks hiding my true identity. All of these are losses and worthy of grief.
Over the years, I’ve encountered many kindred souls in the virtual realm. We traveled the road together for a while and then our paths diverged. Our shared journey was finished. We had learned as much as we could from each other. This is growth. This is life. It has always been this way, but in recent years, and especially months, it has accelerated. We are being forced away from certain souls and drawn towards others. The more we resist, the more painful it is. Many of us are discovering our real tribes and our core truths. It is excruciating, but necessary.
No, I’m not deleting this blog. This sacred space will remain. I have left Instagram, the only social network I used. Definitely not an earth-shattering event. I simply felt as though my wilderness photos and little mystical musings didn’t belong there anymore, amid the ever-darkening cacophony. The posts I saw in my feed confirmed this.
Silence is complicity. You are just as guilty as the perpetrators.
I have been far from silent. They are simply unable to comprehend what I have to say.
And this is my message:
Wish you were here. (June 10, 2020) #sacredspace
It has become an incredible act of courage to remain a sovereign, peaceful presence amid the turmoil.
We each have the right to process our unique realities in the way our souls guide us. To protect our precious energy in any way we can. To share that which we feel compelled to share. I am not a bad person.
World weary. Road weary. Here I lay my self down to rest. One day I will sleep here forever, my ashes seeping into the Earth with the rain. (August 8, 2019) #sacredspace
My work there was finished. And that’s okay. I felt a twinge of sadness as, one by one, I deleted almost four years of posts – the images and thoughts I had so carefully crafted. The travels, both past and present. The wildflowers. The eagle.
The butterflies. The night sky’s dazzling illumination.
The random roadside messages.
And my selfies.
What a peaceful existence I cultivate. What a gentle soul I am. What a shame to delete this beauty.
But as I clicked that final red button – permanently delete my Instagram account – it was not regret that I felt, but relief. I am free, once again.
I left without saying goodbye.
I have always been a wildflower. (August 12, 2019) #indestructible #sacredspace